Things and times change

 Things and times do indeed change. My experiences over the past year have made me fully understand that nothing is carved in stone. I have also come to understand the saying man proposes and God disposes quite well. I have more or less reached an epiphany that anything can happen at any given time, regardless of how much effort you put in and your desire to control all variables. A year ago, I did write about my time in Canada and how it had come to and end and also that I was going back to my home country. Well why am I still in Canada? million dollar question, plans changed at the very last minute. Truth of the matter is plans did not have to change, I could have totally gone ahead with my plans and turned a blind eye to all the problems I was envisaging, and moved on but I realized its not worth it. 

At no point in life should you allow yourself to be short changed of your happiness. We have only one life to live, and it should not include compromises that will only come back to bite you in the bum and leave you distressed. I have seen people make such compromises and what happened in the end? they regretted their decisions and wished they could have made the right choices at the beginning. No one person is responsible for your happiness, you are responsible for your own choices and decisions, so take charge of your decisions and pray for the good Lord to give you the spirit of discernment in all issues. I rest my case.

24th July 2012, Black Tuesday

This day has proven to be a black one by all standards, and its darkness has propelled the "no time to write Efua" to return to her blog....The leader of my country Ghana, President John Evans Atta Mills passed away today. I bow my head and I say a prayer for him, I pray that the good Lord will accept him in his bosom. The bible says the Lord gives and the Lord takes so we can only consider it as his divine orchestration and commit him to his care. I have heard a lot of Ghanaians say people are feigning emotions concerning the president’s death. This is what I personally think, that as a public figure he could not have escaped being talked about, worst of all when he occupied the position of president.

Ordinary people like you and I have people talk about us all the time so why wouldn’t people talk about the president? Human beings can never be pleased so no matter the lengths you go to, people will never be satiated. Lets take Asamoah Gyan as a very current example, he becomes the hero when he does land his ball in the net,his praises knows no limits.. when the ball goes above the net or when he misses that fateful penalty that would have pushed us on to the finals, he is abused from every angle, same person who was being hailed 15 minutes earlier amidst chants of "baby jet, baby jet" but thats human nature at its best. At the end of the day I want to believe this simple truth, that no normal human being wishes that someone else dies and I say this with emphasis on "normal human being". I can’t say we are all normal so for those who actually wished death on him, find yourselves psychiatrists to help deal with your demented minds. I believe most people probably had issues with his political party and the shadows of their past for which President Mills was caught up in and all the drama and the insults that went along with the seat he occupied albeit uncomfortably. Unfortunately that’s just how the world goes, we wouldnt be human if we could be satiated would we? but I don’t believe anyone even in the opposition parties wished death for him. Lets think of him devoid of politics and for once look at him as one person and not a party. Even if people fail to acknowledge this for whatever unknown reasons, be it a different political affiliation or purposeful blindness, he was a humble man.

I remember having blackouts at home and saying "ooooo Uncle Atta", I recall walking through Madina market and hearing people complain about the soaring prices of goods and all I heard was "Uncle Atta" ooo. What of his errors in speech which were even transposed into music? It’s for these same reasons that he will be sorely missed, I pray for strength for his family and above all I pray for peace in Ghana. The timing of his death is frightenly close to the general elections, I understand that Ghana is a relatively peaceful nation, but my prayer is that the peace we enjoy in Ghana now will be sustained. We can only pray that in the quest for political power people will keep their senses in check and their heads screwed on the right way,we all know politics is probably the dirtiest game ever.

I hope no one has forgotten that in this modern age there was a coup in Mali, In West Africa oo, just this past March 2012, who would have imagined it? who would have thought it? Whats that thing Lord Acton said in 1887 again? he said "power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely". Power seems to be a very intoxicating psychoactive drug with many willing addicts. Prayer is one thing we cannot relent on as a nation, because when we loose everything , prayer will give us peace and bind our nation together. I am indeed at a loss, not because Atta Mills was my best friend, or that we wined and dined together, or shared a few dances but the loss of any human being is something so profound and tragic, especially of a president. He had a troubled rule for a while amidst insults, unneccessary pressure and bouts of sicknesses. I wonder what his last thoughts were as he left this world, I ponder what message he would have wished to send Ghana as he departed...... I wonder if people would have retracted hurtful words they may have said to him even on that fateful day if they knew he was going to pass on, I wonder if he had ample time to make peace with his maker before his demise, I wonder how long we will sit and wait for people to die before we celebrate them....

Death always leaves that numb feeling and the question nagging in your brain, what about you? what do you have to offer? my mom said this to me as we discussed this issue, "wa wie n'aduma k), aka ehen aa yaaka ma ehen so y3b3y3" which translates as Atta Mills has finished his job and he is gone, its left with those of us remaining here to also do ours. Whether his job was indeed finished or not, no one knows but yet he is gone....Maybe its time we revaluated ourselves and realised our time on earth will be over one day but do we know when? no one knows.. I wish him a successful transition to the next life and I pray the peace of God will be with him now and always. Ghana is in a state of mourning, a great tree has fallen and in its wake, the roots and leaves are draped in sorrow. Sleep well great man, sleep well….Ghana mourns you..

One year gone OMG

     
I will first have to say thank you to our gracious God for continued love, grace and sustenance in this journey of life. I can hardly believe its been a whole freaking year since I last made a blog post. I most definitely cant be a blogger as a career for obvious reasons. A lot of things have happened in the past year and I really cannot mention it all but all I can say is that I'm almost through with my time in Canada and I'm just looking back now at the almost two years spent here and wondering, what has it taught me? what have I achieved? whats my story? well its quite simple, its been an eye opening two year period. It has taught me self-reliance, independence, and has made me realise I could have pursued a career in economics as without frugality in finances, living in Canada is almost a nightmare. 

It has taken my mind back to all the things we take for granted in Ghana. Living in the homes of our parents for free, eating for free...... and all those other things i fail to mention, i can go on and on. Canada however has shown me that as soon as you turn 18, well in some provinces 16, you find yourself a job and proceed to move out of your parent's home and the most surprising part is parents actually encourage you to move out, in fact some of them cannot wait to get rid of you. That's quite the opposite of Ghana where till you get married you have no option but to stay under the roof of your parents even if you are 30 years plus. I don't intend to rant on and on but i just have to mention a few of the things i will miss about Canada.

I will miss the cleanliness of the environment, i am definitely not looking forward to the dirt and filth that engulfs most parts of Accra and Ghana as a whole with open drains and choked gutters and even where there are bins people will rather drop their litter on the streets, nope that is not very pleasant imagery and i am not looking forward to any of that. I will miss having Internet access all the time and everywhere, instead of battling with one mtn piece of junk called a modem or a useless modem from vodafone or one of the other cellular networks. Again i am not looking forward to having to walk to the cafe in order to access Internet services. I will miss being able to shop at different shops and finding exactly what you want instead of having to walk the length and breadth of Accra looking for one little thing to buy o, and for those of us who unfortunately have big feet, having to hunt for weeks on end to buy one shoe which wont even be nice at ridiculously outrageous prices ad3n? so yes am not looking forward to any of that.  

I also don't worry about thieves too much in Canada when i leave my phone at random places, that is not to say people do not steal here, they do but you don't constantly have to look over your shoulder as a result of the activities of thieves and petty pick-pockets, i think the problems of the Western world include pickpockets and armed robbers but there are greater worries like stalkers, kidnappers and serial killers. On the other hand i will definitely not miss Canadian weather, i mean spring and fall with winter being the worst, and they all have something in common, chilly winds, and with winter the snow that rises to the knee, not not not. Having to wear thousands of jackets and sweaters to feel a little warmth, and also the heater you have to put on to keep your room warm which may end up giving you an unpleasant headache. The summer sun can also be so intense sometimes you just wonder if you are in the Northern part of Ghana or in Canada.
 

I wont miss the food in Canada as everything natural is found in Ghana as opposed to everything being canned here and causing fatness and other diseases, well am not entirely saying everything is pure in Ghana but at least you will see poultry farms and know the chicken wings you are eating are indeed from chickens and not manufactured wings. As to the individuation of the Canadian culture, it kinda works ok for me because it is a better option to me than all the konkonsa and the sabe in Ghanaian culture where people even want to ask you what deodorant you used in the morning or what soap you showered with before bed. Canada is all about doing your own thing in lay man's words, and even though there is more togetherness and communal living in Ghana which is a good remedy to some ills like depression etc, when it gets too intense and the konkonsa is becoming unbecoming, i think the Canadian way isn't bad at all, just mind your own business. Once again back to Ghana will be back to dirty politics, ineptitude and the mismanagement of our economy by many governments, just see how the cedi has fallen against the dollar? the African problem cannot be solved today so long as people get into politics for the wrong reasons. I am delving into so many different areas you may be thinking, but hey am an omnivorous person so that's how I roll.
Hmm it seems i have to sleep now if i intend to go to church tomorrow, so I shall return and that is a line from cantata TV series on G.TV. hahahah. I cannot say when but i will make an effort to come pretty soon.
bisous mes amis.

Across Oceans

I cant believe how long its been since I've written anything and I must say writing seems incredibly hard now. I don't blame myself too much though because I have gone through so much turmoil since September 2011. After living all my life on the Gold Coast, having to live in Canada came as a brutal shock to me. I did know it was going to be hard but until I found myself  bidding farewell to my family amidst "water works" (endless tears), I didn't know how traumatising it will be. Few mornings after I woke  and did not see my cousin Akyere in my room, or my familiar UNICEF calender I knew something was dreadfully wrong. I could no longer hear the soft feet of my nephew in the hall way or hear his incomprehensible baby chatter, it hasn't been an easy road.  Instead all I felt were cold winds, strange sounds  and emptiness. I feel I was totally unprepared for this experience.

I threw myself  into a totally new system, educational experience proving very different and nouveau. For the first time I actually had to think outside the box in order to make meaning of anything that had a meaning. The cultural shock? I wouldn't say with Canadians it was very different or new as I have previously worked and lived with American students, the shock of the citizenry, I could manage but the workings of the society took me by storm. It apparently took this trip for me to appreciate Ghana very very well. Not to get it twisted, am not saying the Canadian experience has been completely awful, but it just gave me fresh insight into the little things of life that I must appreciate more now. The idea of having to wait to pick a bus at a particular time was the first thing that hit me like a blow from Floyd Mayweather. Like seriously what happened to just going to the street and entering a "troski" (public transport)? I mean I do know sometimes you have to wait in endless queues for that too, granted but come on there's always an alternative. 

Taxi drivers practically honk your ear drums out just for you to board their cabs, on the contrary in Canada you have to call a cab before you can get one, very simple. This is the point where I wish i had a "confused" emoticon to insert.Actually i found one.              The cost of the cab you will call is an issue for another day. All I can say is that I miss paying my 3 and 5 cedis for short taxi rides. I remember having people stop all the time to offer me rides and I always declined. Having been here nine months, I have never had that experience even once. I concede I never took kindly to that in Ghana, but it was just nice to appreciate how nice, open and free people were.I acknowledge that a half of them were men who also intended to hit on me as a latent function of their gesture but hey at least they offered right? Well am not too surprised that it has not occurred here, for its not a normal occurrence for "white people" to offer "black people" rides here and I say this with no malice, its simply the truth. 

To add insult to injury, the weather condition makes waiting for the bus an experience only comparable to living in a deep freezer and am not even exaggerating. Suddenly the heat I used to complain about in Ghana seemed like a forbidden paradise because I just couldn't feel warm anymore. What else can i complain about? many a thing but in order not to make reading painful, I will just say I wish there was more food that was not laced with sugar. You attend any event and the chicken is coated in sugar, the  pork is laced with sugar, beef is found in one sugar sauce, bottom line almost everything is sweetened. Need I mention the muffins, cakes, chocolate rolls, all the "delicious voluntary sicknesses" and  "friends of weight gain" you can think off?. Retrospectively I think back to walking leisurely to the bus stop to buy kenkey and fried fish or even porridge and koose. Little did I know that all those things I took for granted were fast going to be luxuries.

 My roommate and I have half a sachet of "ekwegbemi" (corn grits) which we keeping to eat on a festive occasion, how funny is that? the first time we ate it was at Christmas, major jokes. That same cereal that I never wanted to eat in secondary school is now among the "creme De la creme" of foods in my locker. The two cans of palm nut soup we had was so highly protected one would have thought they were rather cans of liquid gold. The first time we cooked the first can? we actually did a little jig. I have so much to say but I guess  I will have to write them in bits for easy digestion. All I can really say  for now is I believe what they say, "you don't know what you have until its gone" and  no better experience to explain that than the Canadian one. I will definitely be back very soon this time with some more thoughts. The picture at the beginning was me before my journey across oceans. Amidst the incessant tears and blood-shot eyes, my cousin managed to take this shot, ha. I know it seems I was happy because I had all my teeth out and It was no toothpaste commercial, well look at those eyes.,they tell a story...................to be continued...

Mon coeur, Ma vie

Whoever thought love didn't hurt must be in outer space or actually no am sure even in space love hurts. The saying that its better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all i think should be the reverse, because the pains that come with love, maybe i will compare to labor pains one day when i have my twins and then i will know which hurts the most. I think love does anyways because its more of an emotional thing and if emotions can cause people to kill then you can just imagine. The pains of love are inexplicable.

when there's so much anguish you cannot even think straight, when your nights are spent soaking pillows in your tears, when your days just race by like speeding cars, when your thoughts are a jumble of unrecognizable words. When you wake up and the first thing you feel are pangs of pain. When you build a life with someone and one day you awaken and they are no where to be found, when you wake up and the one you love is just a shadow in your past and you cannot do anything about it. When all the memories you have are of you and him walking together and sharing your every breath, when his touch is no more and you are left in the cold. 

When you wake up in the morning and there's no greeting of love, when you go to sleep and there's no  voice to listen to. When you're sick and there's no one soaking your sickness up with you, when you are in distress and no one has your back, when everyone is against you and there's that one man who is there for you no matter what. When you taste food and its like seasoned bile,When you feel all this then you'd understand how painful love is, the kind of pain that stifles you, that makes you feel like you drowning, that just saps your every breath. Love hurts soo bad. I don't know if i am at that point where i will just say no one should love again, but that is beyond me because people will still love anyway. 

Love is beautiful whilst it lasts, but when its forced to an abrupt halt, when is seems the universe is conspiring against you to bring pain then love hurts. Love, love really hurts. It just reminds me of part of a song i sung in primary  school 
                                         "My God loves me

                                          His love will never end

                                          The pains of love will be                                           lost in the praise we sing'

Even this song explains it all. Thank God for Christ and the fact that the pains of love can be lost..dont know about mine though.......

                                                

For my Asu

Whilst listening to one Nigerian song “OLEKU” which I cannot stop playing, I just can’t cease thinking about the man who shares my life. That one man who just made everything complete. I never thought I could actually be stuck, perhaps “like glue” if Sean Paul is anyone to pay attention to. Having met so many guys who have always never been the deal, who had always missed the point it was warmly refreshing to meet the one man who could make my world spin. He entered my world a stranger but remained a part of me that would always echo. I curtsy for the one who managed to sweep me off my feet.

                                                                             

 He didn’t have to drive a range rover, much as I like it, he didn’t have to tell wondrous tales, I wouldn’t have believed them anyway. He didn’t have to exaggerate the truth because it was plain to the naked eye. He didn’t have to promise me a wedding ring, the Lord decides but just by being what he was made to be he accomplished so much more. The loving words in times of distress, the broad shoulders to bear my every anguish, the chastising tone of disapproval when needed and the warm embrace to recapture moments spent away. The reflex response to someone trying to disrespect me, the glowing admiration for who I am, the warm acceptance of my many flaws and the desire to mould me into a better person.

                                                                                                 

 I sing a little song of love for the one person whose faults diminish in my eyes and whose love knows no bounds. I thank God each day for his amazing creation and for leading his son to me. The man who shares my life is this one man who can make me laugh and cry, who stirs the most intense emotions inside me and who makes other men seem so much smaller. From his brows which remain a perfect work of art, to his lashes which are so long and straight that I go green with envy.  Methinks he is indeed a fine gentleman. What more can a woman ask for? Than a man who makes plans with her in mind, who looks beyond the present and thinks of a future to share with his woman. A man who recognizes that God comes first.

 To this man I wish the best of luck in this life and beyond, I pray him the brightest of all lights, the prettiest of all roses, the purest of all springs, the highest of all heights and the lightest of all loads. His happiness remains my happiness and his joy my joy. For all that he prays to God for shall it be granted unto him and above all grace without measure.

A lesson

So today started off as one of those days when the world just totally sucks and everything around you seems irritating. Thinking of the issues of life usually leaves you with an aftertaste which isn't exactly sweet especially when the main course isn't a pleasant meal. Thinking through the night before of where I want to be and where I am now and just taking critical life decisions seems quite an arduous task. The part of life where I think can best be described as midlife crises. 

  If you are in anyway like me and you have dreams that just loom largely in your brain then you begin to wonder if really you on the pathway to those dreams. At the same time I know my life is just going to get better and better each day. Why am I so convinced of this? Well it’s simply because of God and life. I cannot complain because everything that happens is all part of a divine plan. I may probably be sounding like the author of the "alchemist" with that line but seriously I believe it.

 Last Friday I found out that a friend of mine had suddenly gone completely blind in both eyes. I was shocked to tears; I couldn't believe how someone I knew who was seeing how beautiful the world was with both eyes had suddenly no chance of seeing this world again. A girl who drove her own car and just completed her master’s degree.  At that point I just realized how really cruel the world could be and how very lucky we all were. By us all I mean all those of us who have our faculties working correctly, who don't have to walk naked on the streets due to either no fault of ours or because of psycho active drugs or something else I cannot fathom. Who didn't have to live on the coins people threw at us through their windows. 

 My day indeed wasn't a good one by any standard. On my way back from work I got stuck in traffic for an insane period and at the point when I decided to buy chocolate from a street vendor, the cars started moving and this vendor had to run madly after the car. The most painful part was that the car in front of ours was also silver in color so the vendor ended up going to the wrong car and he was sent away. We eventually called him back and he didn't have any change. I felt horrible because I couldn't believe he had run all that way for nothing. Eventually my colleague found some change and I bought the chocolate.

 I spent the rest of my journey thinking about the struggle people went through daily to make ends meet and the praises I should be singing for all the undeserved mercies bestowed on me. My friend just landed a very good job today and I was ecstatic. I was so happy that at long last something great was happening to someone I knew; it further stressed my lesson for the day which was that in all things we should be thankful because we could be in worse situations. Celebrate with those who are happy and mourn with those who are grieving. We do not have to be happy only when we are the ones with good fortunes, we have to be able to share in the joy of others so that in turn good things happen to us.........Am done.